How To Be A Mommy - The Vintage Honey Shop
May 24, 2018

How To Be A Mommy


Don’t rely on sleep, eat really fast, and enjoy drinking and eating cold everything.  

Okay, of course there is more, but for those with newborns, that quick intro is all you will ever read because most likely you fell asleep, went back to feeding little one, or didn’t read my Newbornism 101 when I mentioned that when baby sleeps, you sleep.  I promise they will smile again, and they are not going to get up and walk at this age.

Step 1:  balance

I can’t express how important it is to let go of the OCD chore-like mode one has established pre-baby.  The Wild West dust balls will form, clothes will start to resemble a beanbag chair, and dishes will become a thing in the past as you invest in paper ones.  Time starts from the minute baby heads to sleep and that’s the time you must catch up on sleep, not spring clean the house.  Example: I’m writing this now while my baby is sleeping.  Wise decision, eh, but think about the missed snooze fest time, which is more important than anything else.  It will all get done somehow. Just stop balancing with the chores and get leveled with enough sleep and relaxation.

Step 2:  sanity

I think after my first week, I started “losing it”.  I was exhausted and at the same time my perfectionist hat would not come off.  It was at that time that I had to have my husband take the baby from my arms as I started to fall asleep.  As a mother, the last thing we want is to not be able to do our mom job, but eventually the lack of sleep +  lack of food takes a toll.  It’s hard to do everything to make baby happy when solo or like me, perfection mom.  It’s super-duper ok to ask for help.  Blurred vision and swaying when walking is a thing of your 20-year-old past.  Yes, things will pile up and not get done, but if baby and mommy are sleeping and eating (mom maybe some leftover cracker on baby from before that you dropped) all will be ok.

Step 3:  super speed

I was always fast when completing things from chores to laundry, but if you are not, get ready.  Once you establish that first month, you realize that once baby goes down for a nap, you have 5-10 minutes to do whatever needs to get done so you can sleep too.  I suggest shoving an Uncrustable in your mouth while showering, which will become the fastest shower in your life. If one can, forward flip out of shower into clothes.  Now the fun part!  Become a mission impossible spy as you air tip toe down what seems like a 400-foot hallway.  Dodge every creaking floor board as you near the sleeping baby room.  In my house, he’s still in our room in the bassinet, so I magically become liquid form and slither to my bed, then become a gas and float into bed.  Science is pretty cool.  Then if one hears a cry, maximize to super speed to plug their mouth with a pacifier to avoid them waking themselves up.  Start training ladies, this will be a new Olympic sport.

All and all take my suggestions as you may, because like I always say, every baby is different, and each mom has a different super power.  Whatever it be, the gift of becoming a mother is the most rewarding gift I’ve ever been given, alongside my La Mer to help keep lack of sleep eyes youthful 😂.

Enjoy each day to the fullest and enjoy your mommy hat!



The Queen Buzz