When I was a little girl, I dreamed of my future.. A fancy wedding and a big white dress, my Daddy walking me down the isle and eventually babies.. lots of babies! And I got all of those things. I was happily married, I was a stay at home mom, I had a really good life. Until I didn't anymore. And I found myself divorced with three children.
Until a man, who I now call my husband, walked back into my life (we had dated a decade before) and I was in love again. All of a sudden I was not only a mom, I was dating.. which I hadn't done in about 9 years. Then I was introduced to my boyfriend's children. I wasn't really sure what my role was. From the get-go I loved them so much, but I didn't want to overstep.
When we got married I went from Daddy's girlfriend to "step mom", though I preferred the term "bonus mom". Shortly after, we ended up with sole custody of the kids. Their biological mother was no longer involved.
I was doing my best to blend our family, to take on my new role and find my place. To make sure everyone adapted and adjusted well. One day I came across this quote, "There is an instinct in a woman to love most her own child; and an instinct to make any child who needs her love, her own." and everything just clicked for me. I wasn't a "step mom" I wasn't a "bonus mom" I was just a mom. I pick out their clothes and pack their lunches. I help with homework and took them to their activities. I take care of them when they're sick. I hug them and kiss them and love them as if they were my own.
See, I was born to be a mother. It's the only thing I ever knew for sure I wanted to do. I have given birth four times and that love is instant. But these children needed a mom. They needed me and my love. It doesn't matter if they grew in my belly, they grew in my heart and they were mine.
Every situation is different. I know not every blended family functions the same as ours, and that's okay! It takes time to combine families and find what works. Being a "step mom" isn't easy.. but it's totally worth it! It takes time to earn their trust and build that bond. Especially if they've been hurt. But once you do, it's amazing. I can't imagine my life without my children. All 6 of them. God brought each and every one of them to me for a reason.
I'm not a step mom, I'm not a bonus mom, I'm just a mom. And that's all I ever wanted!